Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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