yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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