We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
