I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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