I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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