Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
