I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize