and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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