I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
