I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
