you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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