Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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