He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
