dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize