I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
