No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
