he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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