found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
