You work out of a Hotel?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
