there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
