Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
