I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize