ugly people sure do ruin things
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
