feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
