Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
