I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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