So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
