Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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