Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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