My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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