There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
