So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
