Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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