Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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