His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
