This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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