i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize