You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
