You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
