He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
