just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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