How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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