Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
