Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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