i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
