i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
