help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
