dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
