He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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