ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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