i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im holly from the hills drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
