okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
