Banned from zoo.
Again?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
