Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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