...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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