when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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