yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
