i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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