C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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