he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
