Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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