quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
