god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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