I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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