There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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