Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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