So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
