is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize