Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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