i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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