You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
