You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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