I must be too annoying 4 u.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize