Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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