You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize