My friends, they love my intelligence
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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