It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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