Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
