She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize