Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
ok first of all what the fuck
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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