If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
