I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
