why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize