Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
