Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
