Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my liver is dry heaving
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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