I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
