her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So gin and wine won't be happening again
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
