We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
