call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
